Divorce is a social disease inherent in the mindsets of many individuals. Marriage actually differs from Vivah in many aspects. Marriage is simply an agreement whereas Vivah is an oath. Marriage is simply union of bodies whereas Vivah is union of body and soul too. We should celebrate marriage/ Vivah anniversary by listening what pandit/priest said at the time of marriage ceremony. To avoid divorce and daily disputes, we should recite these oaths daily at least for one year. It will help attune your mind and discipline your body to live together in harmony.
These oaths are both for husband and wife.
Oaths (Partygyaen प्रतिरज्ञायें) for the husband (Dharampati):
धर्मपत्नीं मिलित्वैव ह्येकं जीवनमावयोः।
अद्यारभ्य यतो मे त्वम् अर्द्धांगिनीति घोषिता।। (Dharampatnyan militvaive, hayokan jeevanmavayoh. Adharabhaya yatto may tvamh, ardhanginiti ghoshita.)
Today owning her as my dharmangini I declare, with her mingling myself physically and mentally will create a new living. I will care My dharmpatni like organs of my body.
स्वीकरोमि सुखेन त्वां, गृहलक्ष्मीमहन्ततः।
मन्त्रयित्वा विधास्यामि, सुकार्याणि त्वया सह।। (Saveekromey sukhen tvan, grehlakshmimahantatah. Mantryatva vidhasayamey, sukaryaney tveya seh.)
Perfectly and Gladly I transfer the authority of Grehlakshmi and will lay importance to her advice given for strengthening the living.
रूप-स्वास्थ्य-स्वभावान्तु गुणदोषादीन् सर्वतः।
रोगाज्ञान-विकारांश्च तव विस्मृत्य चेतसः।। (Roop-swasathea-swbhavantu, gundhoshadeenh sarvatah. Rogagyan-vikaranshach, tav vismarytay chetasah.)
I will not mind her merit and demerits of look, health, behaviour and ignorantly displayed illness (vikar), and making a point will not manifest my dissatisfaction. Lovingly will try to mend or keep unanimity by tolerating.
सहचरो भविष्यामि, पूर्णस्नेहः प्रदास्यते।
सत्यता मम निष्ठा च, यस्याधारं भविष्यति।। (Sehcharo bhavishamea, pooransneyah perdasayte. Satyata mum nishtha ch, ysyadharan bhavyshytea.)
Will be living like a friend of my Patni and will completely be showering my affection. This commitment will be followed honestly and devotion.
यथा पवित्रचित्तेन पातिव्रत्य त्वया धृतम्।
तथैव पालयिष्यामि पत्नीव्रतमहं ध्रुवम्।। (Yatha pavitarchitteyn, pateyvratey tavya dharitamh. Tathaev paleayshyamae, patnivratmahan dharuvmh.)
Myself will adhere to patnivarata dharma as pativrata conventions (maryada) are said for patni. Will not associate fascinatingly with others wife by thought or by action.
गृहस्यार्थव्यवस्थायां मन्त्रयित्वा त्वया सह।
संचालनं करिष्यामि गृहस्थोचित-जीवनम्।। (Grehasyarthvayavsthayan, mantareaytva tavya sah. Sanchalanan karishayamea, grehsthocheat-jeevanamh.)
Dharam patni will lead home management. Her consent in the system of income and expenditure for running family and family life will be adopted.
समृध्दि-सुख- शान्तीनां रक्षणाय तथा तव।
व्यवस्थां वै करिष्यामि स्वशक्त्तिवैभवादिभिः।। (Samridhea-sukh-shantinan, rakshnaye tatha tav. Vivasthaan veaa karishyamea, svashakatteavaibhavadibheah.)
I will honestly invest my power and means for the maintenance of well being and harmony and development – security of my dharmpatni.
यत्नशीलो भविष्यामि सन्मार्गसेवितुं सदा।
आवयोः मतभेदांश्च दोषान्संशोध्य शान्तितः।। (Yatansheelo bhavishyamea, sanmargseveatuan sada. Aavyeoh matbhedansach, doshannsanshodhya shanteatah.)
I will try my best endeavor to keep me sweet voice and best behavior. Differece of opinion and mistakes will be cordially amended. Patni will never be rebuked-disgraced in presence of others.
भवत्यामसमर्थायां विमुखायाञ्च कर्मणि।
विश्वासं सहयोगञ्च मम प्राप्स्यसि त्वं सदा।। (Bhavatyamsmarthayan, vimukhayanch karmani.
Vishvasan sehyoganch, mum prapasyasea tavan sada.)
I will not dilute my cooperation and obedience of duty in case of patni’s incapability or her negligiance in her duty.
Oaths (Pratygyaen प्रतिज्ञायें) for the wife (Dharampatni/Ardhangini):
स्वजीवनं मेलयित्वा भवतः खलु जीवने।
भूत्वा चार्धांगिनी नित्यं निवत्स्यामि गृहे सदा।। (Svajeevanan melyeatwa, bhavatah khalu jeevene. Bhutva chardhangaeni nityan, nivtasyamae grehe sada.)
I will create a new life associating myself with my husband. This way I will always truly remain ardhangini ( half of the whole body, mind and spirit) at home.
शिष्टतापूर्वकं सर्वैः परिवारजनैः सह।
औदार्येण विधास्यामि व्यवहारं च कोमलम्।। (Shishtatapurvakan sarveyanah, parivarjaneyah seh. Audaryen vidhasayamae, viyavharan ch komalame.)
Accepting family members of my husband as organs of one body, I shall observe etiquette, serve with open mind, behave politely.
त्यक्त्वालस्यं करिष्यामि गृहकार्ये परिश्रमम्।
भर्तुर्हर्षं हि ज्ञास्यामि स्वीयामेव प्रसन्नाताम्।। (Taikatvalasyan karishyami, grehkariye parisharamme. Bharaturharshan hae gyasyamae, sveeyamev persanntame.)
Leaving aside laziness I shall devotedly endeavour my homework.
I shall wholly participate in the progress of my husband and development of life.
श्रद्धया पालयिष्यामि धर्मं पातिव्रतं परम्।
सर्वदैवानुकूल्येन पत्युरादेशपालिका।। (Shradhdaya palayaeshyamae, dharaman pataevratan parmame. Sarvdievanukuleyn, paturadeshpalaeka.)
I shall abide by pativratdharma, keeping devotedly towards my husband I shall always subsist him. Shall not hypocrite him, and shall practice not to delay in obeying his orders.
सुश्रूषणपरा स्वच्छा मधुर-प्रियभाषिणी।
प्रतिजाने भविष्यामि सततं सुखदायिनी।। (Sushrushanpara svachchha, madhur-riyabhashaeni. Pratijaane bhavishaeamae, satatan sukhdayaeny.)
I shall keep practising service, cleanliness and speaking lovingly. I shall avoid weakness of jealous and malice and will remain spreading glee.
मितव्ययेन गार्हस्थ्य-सञ्चालने हि नित्यदा।
प्रयतिष्ये च सोत्साहं, तवाहमनुगामिनी।। (Maetavyayain garhasthay-sanchalaney hae naetyada. Praytaeshye ch sotsahan, tavahamnugamaeni.)
Act friendly spending and will avoid extravagant. In case of incapability of husband I shall abide by the discipline of the family.
देवस्वरूपो नारीणां भर्त्ता भवति मानवः।
मत्वेति त्वां भजिष्यामि नियता जीवनावधिम्।। (Devsavroopo narinan, bhartta bhavtae manavah. Matvetae tvan bhazaeshyamae, naeyata jeevanavdhaeme.)
Admitting that husband is like a higher body (devsvaroop) for a lady, forgetting differences, will remain active serving for the whole life, will never disrespect my husband.
पूज्यास्तव पितरो ये श्रदध्या परमा हि मे।
सेवया तोषयिष्यामि तान्सदा विनयेन च।। (Poojyastav peetro ye, sharadhdaya parma hae mey.
Sevya toshyaeshyamae, tansda vaenyen ch.)
I shall always satisfy those, who are adored and worshipped by my husband, with my service and devotion.
विकासाय सुसंस्कारैः सू्त्रैः सद्भाववर्दि्धभिः ।
परिवारसदस्यानां कौशलं विकसाम्यहम्।। (Vikasaye susanskareeh, suttreh sadbhavvardaedhabhaeh. Parivarsadasyanan, kaushalan vaeksamyehamh.)
I shall develop in me the quality of generating good habits in the members of the family and keep united together graciously.
It is just an effort to strengthen the ties of Vivah/marriage and weaken the germs of Vivah-sambandh-vichhed/Talaak/ divorce. It will dilute the solution of anger and tighten the cord of living together. Do take little steps of daily reading the verses which are in the form of instructions for the husband and wife that we could not attentively listen to at the time of celebrations, overlapped in the beating of drums and eating of ladoos.
Significance:- Vivah in the true sense is essentially a bond as well as commitment. For the good deeds, actions and earnings by the dharampati are equally shared by dharampatni but all what is bad, is to be owned by himself.
Opposite is the case with dharampatni who herself does good in action, deed and earning will wholly own. And equally share between her dharmapati what is bad in her action, deed and earnings.
Marriage:- Union of two bodies.
Vivah:-Union of two bodies, souls and mental harmony till death.
Dharmapatni/Ardhangini:- Equal half of dharampati,home and family.
Dharampati:-Equal half of dharampatni, home and family.